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important things

So…yeah…I don’t make New Year’s resolutions but I have been pondering some of those “life lessons” that you have to live beyond 30+ years to start accumulating and here are a few thus far: (some of these, if you’ve known me more than 5+ years, you MAY have heard me utter at some point because I’m all about knowledge is power…)

~kids and dogs…they will ruin everything you own.

But let me tell you this:

those precious loves are such a sweet gift even in those hard, frustrating, maddening, “you just spilled what where?!?” moments of your life, in years to come they will not bother you. Both of them, but especially the kids, when they are grown and gone and “big” you will look at those stains and past frustrations with longing and love. I know. It seems impossible now but trust me. You will. And you’ll be sitting there thinking about it with a smile on your face (not to be confused with the screeching, vein popping demeanor you exhibit in the moment…)

~Those things that today, tonight, right now that wake you in the middle of the night and keep you awake and you focus on and you give far too much attention? Are you thinking of those things?

Well, here’s the truth:

they will work themselves out

and you will think, “If this thing gets resolved, we can move on and all will be good and I won’t be so obsessive…” .

Umm…well…that probably won’t happen. It WILL be okay and it WILL work out but then you’ll move on to the next little thing that you’ll obsessively focus on and IT will keep you awake. TRY NOT TO DO THIS! I have found the best way to deal with these things at 2:30 a.m. is to lie in bed and pray for those in need or who are closest to me. Shift the focus. Change your mindset. Give yourself over to something beyond yourself and your silly issues. Because that really is what they are.

~When your kids are in their teenage years and they act like they hate you at times, (which they might, but that’s okay) just ignore them.

They are teenage kids.

They are ignorant.

They really love you so keep forcing them to stay involved in family things and game night and going camping and having fires in the backyard together. Five years down the road, they will probably thank you and might even ask you to do some of those things together! It’s a beautiful thing!

~Love your children enough to let them go and celebrate their departure.

Give them wings…I know it sounds silly and cliche but it really is the truth.

But it’s not always easy to do. Sometimes you will STILL want to dive in and rescue them. You’ll want to try and shield them. You’ll want to help them more financially than you should. You’ll want to tell them what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear. But celebrate their adult space, especially if it involves in-laws for them. Celebrate ALL the loves in their life. It doesn’t diminish yours. There is room for everyone.

~Learn how to be okay with being alone,

bettering yourself,

having a hobby,

doing things you enjoy by yourself,

and developing your own interests.

Even if you’ve been married since you were 20-years-old, you will have times when you will feel alone and you will be alone so you need to be okay with you.

~Most importantly, with each important decision, lesson, conversation, or action with those closest to you,

Christ

should be at the center of it all. Never stop seeking, desiring, and deepening your knowledge and efforts to seek Christ above all things. And I do really mean ALL THINGS. All relationships, circumstances, and encounters. And without that firm foundation, all other ground really, truly, sincerely is sinking sand. I’m telling you…that’s the truth.

I’m still just scratching the surface

but these are a few things I’ve learned

so far

and will carry on with…